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Bleibe, Restez, Stay

So recently I feel like this blog has become a comprehensive list of my mood swings. The fact that some of you are still commenting on it though means you're all suckers and I'm the winner! Not really, I just wanted to get onto the subject of winning and losing. So, the general concensus is that life is a game, live to win and all that jizz, und so weite und so weite. I've been thinking about the 'game' a lot. Who's to say who is winning? I think, perhaps, it's all totally irrelevent and we should just get on with it, but at the same time, maybe there are strategies and tactics like in every game, e.g chess and probably buckaroo.

When completing a search in one of my fayevourite websites; dicitonary.com, it came up with this;

GAME;-
a competitive activity involving skill, chance, or endurance on the part of two or more persons who play according to a set of rules, usually for their own amusement or for that of spectators.

other such denominations were;

having a fighting spirit; plucky.

Informal. having the required spirit or will (often fol. by for or an infinitive): Who's game for a hike through the woods?

Interesting. Obviously there's the type of game, which you eat. I'm not sure if I've ever eaten game though. There was, initially, a point to those definitions but now I can't really be fucked to explain it. I'll let you guys figure that one out.

If I had had a credit card at my disposal yesterday, I would have bought 'The Mitchell and Webb' situation off of amazon. Helena just came in my room, so see ya! xxxxxxx

I! Am! The! Party!

Today was a good day. Invested in series one of 'I'm Alan Partridge!' and proceeded to watch at least 4 episodes. THIS IS A VIOLATION!
I'm the happiest I've been in a while, except I really am gutted we aren't going back to school. Now, many people have thought I was a mentalist for such talk, but think about it... at least at school all my best friends were there and it wasn't so strenuous. Ok, so admittedly, we were totally patronised and there was some awful hierarchy system going on... e.g the time where about half the year was late for assemebely by about 30 seconds (if that) and the admin staff told us off for about 5 minutes and said "Behold! You're over 5 minutes late! Appalling!", then to top it off; Jack, Sid and I had to write letters of apology, for smirking... outrageous! Other good school memories include 'THE HOLE!' amazing.

'The Hole' quite literally defined sixth form life, it was the best thing ever in the world ever for about 48 hours. And like all the best jokes, it started with Gary Wood being hungry and begging for food, in the way that only Gary can in a super annoying yet charming manner. Which brings me onto another great memory; Gary falling down the stairs in year 12, which could be heard from the basement, oh yes! Oh the laughs we shared! It's officially over though, my my, that's a horrible thought. Obviously it had its shitty moments; e.g when Jack wouldn't speak to me after the radiator incident and I was scared to come into the common room. Mcgabo's perversions, various mirror trips with Jenny Elliot giving a runnign commentary on her toiletal functions and various other amazing moments.


keep thinking that a gap year was a bad idea and that I should have just got on with Uni, but then again, some of the bestest people are staying here anyway. I'm real glad the members of Delve/Titbox (respectively) are sticking around. Jenni don't go on SOMMERFERIEN you sucker.

Went to Noodle Time with Adam n Mouse, which I haven't done for a while. They changed their menu to some KeRaZaY thang we didn't quite understand. Then watched 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' - KRAZYEYEZKILLAH! - well good! Then Bekka informs me of a party gwannin in Petts Wood - "ooo" I thought to myself - good idea! Turns out it was the next road from mine; double awesome! Hopefully things are looking up. Then busted a groove to Lloyds for bout 20 mins and then offski beated to Cat de ling ting's house. All in all an awesome day and I can't be bothered to write anything more so laters yo xxxxxxx

....

So anyway, following on. The morning after the night before of gettin' bare inebriated, met up with Jack PETITE for some Bromley lovin'. Actually, I hate Bromley but I had fish to fry. Jack made me go to Ryman AGAIN for some batty blank cds (I like to keep my visits there to a minimum). Then I made him buy a water pistol for some drive by soakage. I used to have the most awesome water pistol and create real havok to Kundai with it, then the trigger got busted - GUTTED I was. I wanna go to London 2morrow but I'm not sure exactly what to do, so suggestions would be nice.

I'm pretty content right now, don't be a fucker and ruin it for me please. x

WHY CAN'T I!!!

it's 00:42 and I've just returned from work at ze daylight inn(it).
2 hours into the shift and my legs caned megaloads, but then the pain seemed to subside and it was all good. The punters do make me laugh; "I've heard next year is going to be a great year for Lebanese wines!", which I heard as "Lebanese wives..." causing a discussion about how Lebanese women make Britney Spears look like "Trailor trash"... "... But Britney IS trailor trash". Also,

"If you were my daughter I wouldn't let you work behind a bar"
"Why not?"
"... Why do you work here?"
"For the money"
"If you were my daughter I'd give you the money instead"
"Well, give me the money and I won't work here"
"But I'm not your father... how old are you?"
"18..."
"I'm old enough to be your father twice over..." *ponders this then descends into mid-life crisis*

See the fun I'm having?

Drunken rank ting: "Excuse me.. do you have a boyfriend? My mate fancies..."
His mate: "Shu'up, you're drunk!"
Me: "Well, he clearly has good taste"
drunken raucous laughter

Excellent.

Today up until the aforementioned fun, I didn't do much. Got an absolutely awesome message from my Ryman boss, which made me not resent the fact that I have to be till trained at 10 tomorrow, SLAVE TO THE WEEK!

The night before (Sat) I went to the Hog's Head in Beckenham with a few tings, namely; Alex, Katie of the Miller variety, Helena, Bekka, Cat de ling ting, Buggzdemtingz, Alix and Emma Wilson. Had a wicked night and probably got way too drunk (ask Bekka). Had a lovely walk from Beckenham to Shortlands, got escorted out the Hog's Head, chucked out a different pub and got moonied by the Hog's Head staff. Even Korey ("With a K") said he'd buy Bekka and I a drink each next time and tried to persuade us to go with him to Croydon for some lovin' ("... But it's always better when feelings are involved").

I can't believe the amount of people who drink on their own. Makes ya think... ok so maybe the odd drink, but every night/every other night? Read the front page of a newspaper today "Anything interesting?"... "Nah, it's a bit depressing actually". Which reminds me of the Peep Show when Nancy is all like "What about all the buses that DID make it safely to their destinations?"... "Oh, yeah, right... so the news should be a comprehensive list of everything that has happened in that day the world over, yeah.. great... except it would take FOREVER!" Ha, that one always gets me.

DEEP!

Ok so I'm gonna totally explain my mood now. Harry says "Do what you want" here I am. Not so bovs that this is communal, everyone knows my shit anyway.

First of all; Lloyds is shite. Full of chavs - will take anything. Walk in, look right; first thing you see - 75% of bullers wood dance club - no thanks! Admittedly I'm 'friends' with a few, but the others? fuck 'em! I do hate everyone though, except titbox and co - they're bare good. Now Harry and Tom have always been kinda liek dynamic duo legends in Bullers, so it's nice when you actually get to know them as people - especially as drunk people rather than just the mobs yodelling; "HARRY N TOM AAAAAAAAH *SCREAM GUZZLE SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!*" Plus Tom showed some concern for my liver; cheers moit x

I hate the Compass for closing the bar at 11 - ridiculous idea. ADHD. I spent £20. "It's not a night out till she's puked". I haven't had alcohol induced sickness for AGES though, so it was a pleasant surprise. Luckily Charlene was clever and observant enough to get my hair out the way before I blew the chunks. Then my throat burned for a good half hour - "It's the acid!". Bare rumours - hate 'them! but good I know too. Initially I was gonna take the moral high ground but fuck it! what a wanker.

Steve's Party - bare safe hedz but not really my crowd. 'sam' gave me a bottle of wine so I smashed it. Alex thought I was aiming for her (much like Alissa thought I was aiming for her and still doesn't believe me till this day), but really FENCE + BOTTLE + HARD THROW = great pleasure at the time. Fuck the inevitable backlash! Bekka is wicked. having 'fayeski BEAT' shouted at u everytime u phone a certain person is well good. that person is jack PETITE. All in all - bare walking, bare skettiness but really a thoroughly good and educational time. I'm kinda happy so no complaints. Except the one. X

Do What You Want

DO WHATCHA WANT! - best advice ever.
had a well good night out. From what started to be a pile of shit ended up into GOLD! Went to Lloyds (was forced to pay a quid - rather like Reading - COMPULSORY donation story). Found some good people (e.g emma young) then got bored... but thankfully Matt, Harry and Tom saved the day and said people + Charlene and Alix busted a move to Compass - well good. Later joined by Gary wood and Joe Hurley. Got bare drunk and projectile vomited just outside. Bought Tom a drink but the fuka didnt realise and so bought himself another one and discarded mine as a "Communal lager", I got 6 dates out of it though.

Bar closed at 11 - RUBBISH! Friday night? No thanks! Probs why I drank too fast n then vomited. Then Matt, Charlene and I proceeded to walk bare trekkage up Westmoreland Road to Steve's partay. I smashed a bottle of wine in a teen angst moment. Got pissed offf that people drove home without me but luckily tom creemore saved the day - bare safe. Thanks! All in all a much better night than expected, big shout to Matt 'coz he encourgaed me to get bare drunk but did beat me in every single drinking game, which sucked. now its 1.30 and i should go to bed but coz im bare populare im gettin LOADS of text messaged. Ryman soon though - GUTTED!

Addict for dramatics

Jack and I had a discussion on how people don't really post enough blogs, he included me on this, whereas I'm pretty sure I probably post the most out of everyone, including him. So yeah, I had a dry patch for a while but there are REASONS! Plus sometimes when I'm feeling ultra generous I'll wack out 2 in a day... HA! I WIN!

I'm quite ill at the moment - post Reading I guess. Yesterday I clambered into my sister's bed as I wanted a lie down and also because she has a television in her room so I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone; have a rest and watch Hollyoaks at 6:30. Unfortunately I fell asleep and only woke up at 6:45pm to my disappointment that I had missed the first half of the aforementioned Chester based soap and I only woke up 'cause Nina rang. So, as I had missed half already I thought to myself "may as well get into my own bed for a bit'... woke up at 11 o clock and realised I was meant to be at Lloyds 3 hours prior to that (sorry Bekka). I've just woken up again (12:20) and I'M STILL SHATTERED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gotta start work at the Daylight 2nite and my house is a fuckin state, so why am I on here talking about my sleeping patterns? Offski beat yo x

What's it feel like...?

So yesterday; slept a lot, listened to Zebrahead a lot, watched Hollyoaks a lot. Drove to Beckenham once.

This morning I woke up and busted a move down to The Daylight Inn - new job, Back of the net! Start this Thursday. "I'm definitely not gonna support you in this", "Give me the phone number so I can tell them not to give you a job", "Is that a good idea for an alcoholic?" - I love my friends.

I'm having withdrawal symptoms from Reading, I don't really know what to do with myself now. The cat sick is still on my stairs and I have to pick up my sister from Croydon in about 5 hours, meaning I probably should clean up/buy some food. Greg's being a wanker and won't drive round right this instant and feed me. I should probably remove the sour milk from my fridge, but that would mean emptying the bins first, which frankly will not fly. I thought I may have run over my cat yesterday, but turns out it was just a dustbin lid.

Isn't this exactly where you like me?

I feel like I've been a bit emotionally weakened recently. I'm always in a really good mood and then one small thing can make me apathetic, which descends into me wanting the apocalypse all over again. As I sang "CANCEL THE APOCALYPSE" the other day at Reading, I thought to myself, yes, good idea, do go ahead and cancel it. But the thought of wanting it keeps seeping back into my mind. Like Dan Andriano says; "That self-pityship is just too hard to resist" - I'm not pitying myself though, just the fact that I have nothing solid planned for my gap year. I almost bought a ticket to California (San Francisco) yesterday, for no reason. I should probably pay up for that music tech course but it's in fuckin Barbican - LONG TING

I'M READING!

25th August 2006 - 28th August 2006

READING FESTIVAL


Amazing. Frankly feel like, although it was the scummiest air ever, it was actually a breath of fresh air. Had bare kefuffle with my ticket but in the end Amy and I got out VIP shiznit.
We left at 10:30am to get the train to Charing Cross, then on to Paddington where we decided to treat ourselves to a Grolsch. Recently it's taken me loads of alcohol to get drunk, but half a pint of that and I was gone. Then we decided it was a good idea to bust out a bottle of the old vino on the train to Reading. Best idea ever.

Queuing up for tickets we met some South African dude, now I am a SUCKER for a south african accent, shame I was too inebriated to fully appreciate it at the time. So at the ticket booth the guy is like "That's £20 please" TWENTY POUNDS 'donation'... but if you don't 'donate' then you don't get in (apparently it went to Charity or something, mmm). So against the odds we get through to Matt on the phone and wait for him to chug along to wack out some £$£$£$£$£$£.

Got there just in time to catch a bit of Panic!@thedisco's set, unfortunately missing the part where he got knocked out, which was hilarious apparently. Met Gary Wo(ul)od n young Mikey Mike then proceeded to get more drunk back at the MASSIVE tent - bare good. The first night was rad 'cause everyone was in high spirits and I was almost sick laughing - MENTAL! THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF ROCK N ROLL!!!!!!!!!!!! Jack was pretty snotty but it only added to the hilarity of it all. Most the times I drank alcohol wasn't because I particularly wanted to get drunk (although I wouldn't have said no) but mainly because bottled drinks were £2 and there was a lot more alcohol at our disposal at our campsite than soft drinks so Olivia's Jack Daniels was a firm fayevourite. She got nookie with 'Kev' too. Only real complaint of the first night is that Matt invited a naked man into our tent and I hate naked men. Saw DIZZEE and Thursday post going to Wetherspoons with Amy to get cheap drinks/a chicken caesar salad - rad.

Saturday - Amy and I TREKKED to Gary and Mike's hotel to get a shower. I couldn't work the temperature handle very well on it so I did get frozen and burnt within a very short period of time. Gary doesn't understand the term "DON'T COME IN!" but the shower was very much appreciated so I didn't feel like a total skank despite 95% of everyone absolutely STINKING. Then it was off to Subway/Primark and Sainsbury's for reinforcements, oh yes. Saw Alexisonfire, Capdown and The Futureheads then delved or rather titboxed into the VIP section with Amy the best part being the bowls of Black Jacks/Fruit Salads/Smarties. Saw Kelly Jones but I think the Stereophonics are rubbish so didn't bother with that. More inane activities back at the campsite. It's difficult to try and remember what happened when but basically had a LOT of fun with some 'Wash and Go' - recommend it to anyone 'cause apart from the whole cleaning agent thing, it's bare good as projectile jizz.

Next morning - Jack decides he wants to take the tent down bare early so gives away free food. "POT NOODLE ANYONE?" 'I could go for some of that' I thought to myself, then realised it required obtaining hot water and thought it'd be a better idea to use as amunition. Alissa didn't think so but contrary to popular belief it wasn't actually aimed for her specifically more... for the 4 people who were standing there where Alissa happened to be one. The 'Wash and Go' came in handy again with Jack's baguette and Liloes with Carling spread across are always fun. Then everyone had their fun with a permanent marker. JACK PETITE/FAYESKI BEAT.. OH YES. How many words rhyme with Jack? THE LAST SUNRISE!!!!!!

Sunday - Taking Back Sunday were awesome despite only playing 'Cute Without The E' from 'Tell All Your Friends' but Jack, Benny Bwoi, Buggsy, Jen and I all had a whale of a time screaming LIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR! out anyway. After TBS I found Jonny and Amy to run and catch some of the Dresden Dolls... got to see Coin Operated Boy but left before I could see Girl Anachronism but it's ok 'cause LESS THAN JAAAAAAKE were on. Amazing. Found everyone again and immediately got a MASSIVE bottle of brown sauce shoved down my throat and then crowd surfed. We created our own circle pit 'cause we're that good. I can't get it off bold now, oh well. Dirty Oyster.

Sunday night - sat round a roaring fire for bare time. met a German. sat around some more. took pro plus. started shaking violently. drank some VIB. took tent down with Jack. got on boat. 3am. Diversions. Home. Cat Sick on stairs. Bed. x